I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

Exactly a week after my computer had been miraculously saved by the kind hearted man in the Mac store, it died again. Same fateful screen with a blinking question mark. When your computer dies once, its unfortunate, when it dies twice in the same week, its a sign (or at least that's how I took it). So I put it in a drawer and picked up a book.

A lot happened in those few weeks without a computer. I will try my best to catch you up. The local government held their yearly town meeting successfully, my soccer team organized a feria (a day of soccer games and food), the students from the colegio and the escuela had graduation ceremonies, I am organizing two day-time summer camps for the kids in my community and I got another kitten. Kitty's name is Gidget. She is just about a month old now. And super cute, besides she is still learning about where to go poop, which means extra cleaning for me. Not so stoked about that.

I spent a large amount of my time reading in my hammock (which has been a God-send), crocheting, cooking, cleaning the house, painting the walls, visiting neighbors and going on walks. I will be honest, a few nights I was so exhausted that I didn't have the mental ganas to read or crochet, and I either laid in my hammock and stared at the wall or went to bed at a ridiculously early hour.

Christmas I spent with my host family from training, just outside of San Jose. It was comfortable as always and felt great to be surrounded my adopted family for the holiday. I am also traveling with another volunteer and crashing with her for a few days, before we head to the beach for some New Year's camping and hopefully a bonfire.

I am sending love and well wishes to all my friends and family back home. I hope you had wonderful holiday seasons and that the New Year we bring in is one of the best yet!

She turned her can't into cans and her dreams into plans

Good morning Internetland. A lot has happen since we last spoke. Its strange how a day can change so dramatically from one minute to the next. Friday started off as a great day. I was interacting with community members, I taught an organizational workshop, I found a youth leader to help me with my summer camps, I helped the church committee clean up the church for the upcoming Novena, all in all things were looking up. At 5pm I returned home to examine the damage the bugs were doing to my legs and spray the smallest amount of Deet possible in hopes of finding a balance between allergic reactions and being eaten alive. I pulled out my computer to double check a few things before heading out the door to soccer practice.

My computer turned on to a white screen with a flashing file folder and question mark in the middle of the screen. My stomach dropped. I know very little about computers, but this appeared to be very bad. The question mark might as well have been a skull and crossbones. I called a few friends and got a few answers. It was bad. I needed to take it into a Mac Store. There were two options, one just simple re-installation, two a new hard drive.

Saturday morning woke up at 4am. Caught the bus at 5:30am. Arrived in San Jose (frantically) at 1:15pm. Found the Mac Store by 1:30pm. I was told that a repair was $40 dollars and a new hard drive was $200. I explained my situation (am a volunteer, live in the campo, my computer is my lifeline, I have no money) and I am sure that I was the epitome of desperation. They said they needed two hours to fix it. My last bus to get back to my side of the country leaves at 3:00pm. I had an hour and a half. They said they would try.

I grabbed a quick lunch and then loitered annoying (and anxiously) in the store. At 2:38pm I was shown my computer, it was working! I asked if all my data was okay. The answer was no, I took a deep breath in, put my hands on my head, mourned my data loss for 10 seconds and then moved on. I asked, "So it was just the installation disc?" The answer, "No, it needed a new harddrive, but I found one. It will only be $50 dollars." Shock. Look at watch, 2:45. "Thank you so much! Can I pay now?" I whiped out my card, packed up the laptop, signed the receipt and bolted out of the store at a dead run. I ran into the first cab I could see and told the cab driver we had 10 minutes to get to the bus station. His response "Impossible."

Long story short I made the bus, with some questionably safe cab driving, 8 blocks of running, and 45 minutes of waiting when I arrived at the bus stop only to find the bus leaves at 3:45pm. My computer is up and running and I have been downloading all of the things that one needs to download (the list is surprisingly copious).

Lessons learned? I can't say I am quite sure of the lesson yet. I know in the past I said that a broken computer would be one of the things that would send me packing. But when the computer broke, I was upset, but after an evening of being upset it seemed so clear. This was a problem, there was a solution. It might mean some hard work, some money, some time, but a solution was out there. It was different when Cricket died, that type of upset seems insolvable. So maybe the lesson is that problems are solvable. Seems pretty straight forward, but when I was sitting in my room with a broken computer, and an unbroken silence, nothing felt solvable. You can't drown in the upset of a problem that is solvable, you just have to wait it out.

Time to start the day. Goodbye for now, sending loves.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending

I arrived back in site after a whirlwind tour in San Jose. A few days in the hospital, a few days celebrating Thanksgiving, a few days visiting my host family from training, a few days helping a friend move, a quick meeting with government official about development and now I am back.


Health wise I am recuperating just fine. Although I don't know how the life without chemicals plan will work in actuality. Last night I found a cockroach the size of my ear in the kitchen and decided that is all that I needed to justify Raiding the house.

I spent Thanksgiving with a family from the US Embassy and 4 other volunteers. The family was an American women who worked at the Embassy, an El Salvadorian man that trains Search & Rescue dogs and their two children - ages 2 and 6. They welcomed us into their home for a spectacular meal and let us stay with them for two nights. We ate wonderful food, used their oven, took hot showers, played with the kids, and watched cable TV. All the comforts of home.

Then Biiftu and I went and spent the weekend with our host training families. It was wonderful to see my host family and spend some time with them. I made them curry lentil soup with garlic bread and a funfetti cake for lunch one day and it was delicious. Both nights the power went out, so we made shadow hand puppets and listened to music from our cellphones. It was perfectly comfortable.

Then I helped Biiftu move into her new home. It is a beautiful white simple wood house. We moved all her stuff into her new house, unpacked and went to town to get the last minute necessities. You will be proud to know that I went to a lumber mill, purchased the correct amount of wood and made a counter for Biiftu's kitchen. That's right, handsaw, hammer, nails, wood = beautiful new counter!

Then I had a meeting with a government official in charge of overseeing the local governments and funding projects for small communities. It was productive to meet with her, but a little disillusioning. Because if my community could fill out the project proposal and present it, the funding is more or less available. When I arrived back in my community, the local government was having a meeting (which hasn't happened in months) and we are hopefully going to have local elections this month.

Now I am home. Cricket passed away while I was out of town, which is heartbreaking. The gossip is that she was eaten by a dog. That is two pets that have died or gone missing in two months when I was out of town. I know that I can't expect my neighbor's to take care of my pets the way that I do, but its heartbreaking to keep losing pets and its heartbreaking not to live with animals. Last night was my first night staying in my house completely completely alone.

My house is a mess. I found mice poop on the shelf where all my clothes live. Which means that I need to wash all my clothes and kill an undetermined quantity of mice. I am hoping that the mice haven't eaten holes in my clothes. I also found a mutant spider grasshopper in the bathroom.

Today there will be lots of cleaning- with minimal chemicals. Wish me luck. I could use some luck - maybe some strength too, if its the appropriate time to ask for things.

She took the leap and built her wings on the way down

Wednesday 4pm. I spent the morning re-reading the bylaws of the local government. I am showered and in tow is my notebook filled with my presentation for the local government meeting. I haven't been to a meeting in months. There hasn't been a scheduled meeting in months. No one has shown up in months. But I am hopeful. Waiting. Waiting. A little less hopeful. Waiting. Leaving. Frustrated, angry, sad, apathetic. I head home, eat an early dinner and head to bed early. Write the day off, another failure, and try to focus on the potential of tomorrow.

Thursday am. Wake up and start in on my morning routine. Take down my net, feed Cricket, open the back door, open the curtains, make coffee, take a quick shower, check my email, and sweep the floor. A few hours later I discover a large rash (what I now know is hives) on my legs. Bummer. Cancel my meetings this afternoon.

Thursday pm. A church committee member has stopped by my house to drop of leaves that make a tea that will make me feel better. My neighbors have visited and offered me dinner and a few coconuts which should help. I get three text messages from concerned community members, to ask how I am feeling.

I am baffled. No one shows up for an hour long meeting, but six people will take unscheduled time out of their day to check on me or bring me something when I am sick. I am a community member, they obviously LIKE me, but they won't show up to a meeting to improve their own town. Baffling.

Long story short: I had hives that couldn't take a hint. Three days later I was still waking up with hives. So I got an all expense paid trip to the hospital and a month worth of medications. I am better, and silver lining- I got to spend a few days in the city to decompress, escape the magnifying glass (that is small town living) and to run a few errands.

Now for something completely different: Happy Thanksgiving to all my Americans. Enjoy your turkey, can-shaped cranberry sauce, indoor heating (and cold weather), fallen leaves (and changing seasons), sweaters, scarves, ovens (and baked goods in general), family, friends, four day weekends and the official beginning of the Christmas season. Know that I will be counting you and your support among the things that I am grateful for in this past year.

what happens when the abnormal begins to feel so normal, you forget it was once abnormal

Yesterday, Thursday November 15th 2011, marked the completion of my first six months in my site. This is an important date in the Peace Corps Costa Rica world, its the date when all volunteers are officially allowed to move out, and its the date when we are able to apply for grants for external funding. It also means that I have 18 months left in Gallo Pinto. Which boils down to 1 year 6 months. A quarter of the way through. An accomplishment indeed!

How did I celebrate, you ask. Well- I scrubbed the floors in my house, went an entire day without eating rice and beans, attended my daily quota of town meetings, and chatted with a fellow volunteer. Nothing exciting, no balloons, cakes or confetti. Nobody sang, and honestly nobody really noticed. But it feels pretty big. It means for (6 months in site + 2.5 months of training) 8.5 months I haven't seen my friends or family. For 8.5 months I have lived in another country, spoke another language, eaten another traditional cuisine and accepted new ways of living. I have moved three times, I have become a member of a family and a member of a community. I have dealt with public transportation, medical issues, administrative conundrums and I have defined my job from scratch. I have done all this - more or less - alone.

I am overwhelming grateful for the support of friends and family throughout my journey. Which makes that last line- that I have achieved 8.5 months alone- quite a bit untrue. Your phone calls, packages, emails and thoughts have made my 8.5 months a million times more bearable. You have made me less homesick, less uncomfortable and you have reminded me too many times to count that I am loved and supported. Thank you.

But one of the realities of my Peace Corps experience (that perhaps I anticipated, but anticipated without fully understanding the reality) is that choosing to live in another country, in my case, in a very very small community, can be extremely isolating. I have made some wonderful friends here. My neighbors who invite to me dinner, taught me how to make rice and beans and take care of my home when I am away. The girls on the women's soccer team who always pass me the ball even though I am God awful at soccer. The little kids who invite me to go on bike rides with them and bring fruit to my door because they know that I like it. The women who runs the small town store who lets me pay her the next day when I am short a few hundred colones. The old bus driver who waited at the bus terminal an extra 15 minutes so that I could make it home. All of these people have become part of my new life. And I am grateful that in a town of 50, there are so many kind souls.

At the end of the day though, there is no one in town that I can tell how frustrating it is to plan meeting upon meeting and have two people show up. Or present a new idea to a group, only to be met with stares of confusion because no one understood my Spanish. Or to train a group in new organizational techniques, have everyone show up for the meetings, and then watch as they plan their next event or activity with maybe less organization than ever. Or how sad I am that my puppy got lost, and how much I miss his companionship. Or that I miss my family and friends so much sometimes it makes my heart hurt. All of these and many other challenges I can't confide in people in my town. Either because gossip runs rampant like wildfire here, or because there are cultural differences that mean I just wouldn't be understood.

Luckily, I have a few very close volunteer friends that I do confide in, who are endlessly supportive. Because even though we all live in different towns, we all face similar challenges. We are best able to understand each other. I am grateful for their support. But on those really bad days, a phone call just doesn't do it. I need someone here, in my house, to tell me in person that it will be okay. That today is just today, and who knows what will happen tomorrow. Someone to distract me with fort-building, or no bake cookie making, or a movie and popcorn. And sometimes I am lucky enough to have my friends visit, and sometimes I just have to call them, and pretend like that's enough to make me feel better.

And sometimes I just have to remember that this is a choice I have made. And that the rewards (although sometimes hidden) are just as present as the challenges. I have to look around and appreciate the unique way of life that I get the privilege of living for two years. Being able to wake up at whatever hour I please. Having free time to exercise, cook, read and write. The beauty of spending an evening listening to a radio show and crocheting or a Saturday afternoon fishing down at the river. I have to stop thinking about how much I hate getting up at 4:30am to walk an hour to the bus stop, and stop and marvel at how beautiful the sun looks when its rising, or how serene it is to walk for an hour in complete silence and not see a single other person. Or remember how excited I was to have a job where I get to make the decisions of how I spend my days and what are the best ways to go about effecting change. The adventure - which means that after an all staff meeting I get to go bungee jumping with friends. Or spend the weekend at a Costa Rican beach.

For me, Peace Corps has been a combination of all of this. I am grateful for the people I have met, the people who have supported me, the lessons I have been given the opportunity to learn and the year and a half that I have left.

Ever wondered what a day in the life of PCV Chelsea is like...?

Follow this link and find out. I published some of the photos of my house already, but there are new ones about food, and daily activities. 

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.649121278915.2125480.32404648&type=3&l=57733d2daa

Sometimes I stop, take a deep breath, and think - "Really!?!"

Saturday morning. Cricket (my darling little kitten) was snuggling on my chest while I was knitting and watching Grey's Anatomy. There was hot tea, oatmeal with raisins and it was perfect. Then Cricket jumps off my chest and I look down. Morning ruined. Less than 1 second flat and my gorgeous morning was gone. Cricket had let two yellow diarrhea stains on my t-shirt.

Cut to three hours later. I am quarantining Cricket in my empty room and cleaning up little piles of liquid yellow diarrhea all over my house and personal items.

Two days later. Cricket is still sick. Weak. Not eating, not drinking and will not shut up. My thoughts: I cannot lose another pet. This kitty cannot die on my watch.

Later that night - call a vet whose number I got from a friend. Its 10pm, which is an inappropriate time to call anyone who is not a close friend or family in Costa Rica. Biiftu (thank God for her support) helped me call the vet who said to give Cricket fluids and bring her into the vet the next day. After emptying a eye drop bottle and force feeding her some water we go to bed. I am worried sick.

Next day the alarm goes off at 5am so that we can walk to the bus stop. The night before I had prepared a bag with a layer of plastic bags, followed by newspapers, which I was intending on putting Cricket in, and then sneaking her on the bus.

*A short aside on why that is the stupidest plan ever: Do you know why I decided to name my kitten Cricket - because my kitten in broken and never (never never never) shuts up. She loves to meow, to cry, to sing, to talk - anything that is loud and demands attention. Now she is also a baby - so you have to forgive her for her annoyingness - but I bet you are starting to see the flaw in my bus plan.

So I look out the window as the alarm goes off and I think "Why is it light outside?" I am still pretty hazy in my midwakingness but I am present enough to know that the sun doesn't rise until 5:15am at the earliest. "Why is it light outside..." "FUCK!" (excuse my language, but that was the word that came out of my mouth as I realized that my American alarm is programed to adjust for daylight savings times). Which meant that as the alarm went off at 5am, it was really 6am in Costa Rica and the bus would leave in 15 minutes from the stop which is an hour walk away. So we set off on foot, not so happy, but walking nevertheless.

We struck a goldmine, with a ride to town from only 25 minutes outside of Gallo Pinto. When we got in the car (of a man whom I know through my work with the water committee) his eyes just about popped out of his head when after driving for 2 or 3 minutes Cricket lets out a characteristic "MEOOOW." Luckily we did not get kicked out, but I know that we would have been kicked off if we had been on the bus. (Especially since the bus driver changed a few weeks back and the new guy is not yet my friend).

After arriving in Guatuso, getting Cricket dewormed, and getting some anti-diarrhea meds, we needed to run our errands. Let me tell you that I got some strange looks in India, but never have I gotten so many strange looks as carrying around a bag that was mysteriously MEOOOWING. Places I took my cat: bread store, government office, post office, bank, craft store, and grocery store. In other more entertaining words: places that I took a meowing bag and got strange looks - everywhere.

The man who gave me a ride in the morning offered to take me back at 10am. GREAT. Stellar. Perfect. Except...little to my knowledge he was planning on finishing his (and subsequently my) journey three hours outside of Gallo Pinto. Which means a three hour walk for Chelsea, in the bright mid-day sun, with a cat and all of her purchased items from town (of which there were many because I purchased them thinking that I was getting a ride all the way to Pinto). Bummer.

Arrive in Gallo Pinto three hours later. Hot. Sweaty. And with very little ganas to do anything. Except go the to pulperia and treat myself to a cold drink. Because I don't have a refrigerator, cold beverages (water, juice, an occasional soda pop) are a rare commodity. But today I was ready to treat myself. Guess what- BOTH (I repeat both) of the pulperias in town were closed. That has never happened to me.

At that point in time (with thoughts of cleaning up (read: hand washing) seemingly endless cat diarrhea-ed items in my house, missing buses due to time changes in other countries, insanely heavy groceries, sunstroke, and an insatiable desire to break into the pulperia to steal a cold beverage) I looked to the heavens, took a deep breath and said "REALLY?!?"

Now this is by far not the most difficult day that I have had during my Peace Corps experience. But it was definitely a day where I felt that someone up there was looking down and giggling at the hoops I was jumping through.

Well I never got my cold drink. But I got home, sat in front of the fan for 20 minutes with my eyes closed (dreaming about air conditioning) and then I got my butt up and cleaned the house. Cause that's what you do- you may need a moment- but eventually, you just have to do, what needs to be done.

And the critter adventure contines...

This is the second time I am typing this post. The first one got lost because of the internet connection. I guarantee the first one was better. Sorry bout that.

Termites have infested and begun eating my library. Yep. You read that right the first time. But if you want you can go back and read it again. Infested. Ate. Books. Its a bad situation, let me tell you.

First of all, termites ate my beautifully weathered and worn pages and transformed what could have been hours of pleasant pass times into poop. They dug and tunneled and ate through the entertaining text and left behind an enormous amount of feces. So not only did I have to clean up thousands of dead termite bodies (they became dead after I sprayed them with ant killer, then doused them in bleach, and the eviscerated then with cockroach killer) but I had to scrub that wood to remove the ungodly amount of excrement that they left behind. Thanks termites, you made me day.

What was the damage. Well three books are dead. A Thousand Splendid Suns (from the Peace Corps library), 501 Spanish Verbs (borrowed from Peace Corps language staff) and Trauma Stewardship (brought from home). And every time I itch now I think that termites are crawling on my skin. They aren't, but knowing that doesn't help.

What does one do with a thousand dead termites, an overwhelming amount of poo and a standing pool of mixed chemicals. Well after I finished my freak out disgusting gross yucky dance, I gathered up my gumption, marched my butt down to the pulpe, bought paper towels (because although I know that now I will have to burn more garbage, I just couldn't bring myself to clean the mess up with a rag, that I would then have to hand wash in the sink that I was my dishes in) and spent an hour scrubbing the wood walls, the wooden shelf and the floor to erase any trace of termite.

So what can you do about this? Well if you have any advice on getting rid of termites, feel free to send it my way. Also, if you have any ideas of where I can put my books, please let me know, because my house is wood, all the shelves are wood and apparently books are like termite bait (I think we can assume at this point that the house is termite infested). Finally if you have an extra atta girl sitting around the house, it would be appreciated.

And now here is photographic evidence. Enjoy.

PS. My bed is also made of wood, it is no infested currently, but still...

"out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing- there is a field- ill meet you there" -rumi

I feel like my feet are stuck in the mud, and I was trying really hard to keep walking, but now I have just given up and sat my ass down and started making mud pies. A strange analogy- but it is so fitting. I have projects in the beginning stages, I have community activities to participate in, but I also have an enormous amount of free time. There is rarely a meeting or community event before 3pm, because the kids are a school, the dads are at work, and the moms are cooking, cleaning and washing. So although my afternoons are the perfect amount of full my mornings are empty. It is a blessing. I know the value of free time, because I have lived my life in various states of busy-ness, some of which alotted me little to no free time. I remember how desperately I wanted just one day to sleep in, or one extra hour to work out, or the ability to waste an afternoon with a movie and a good friend. 


Now that I am inundated with free time I find myself being wasteful. The enormity of my free time is crushing my motivation. So my newest challenge is time management- I think I have learned this lesson before...

I left site on foot, and returned in a Lexus.

This is the second time that I have typed this blog entry. The first time it kept deleting itself. I think its the ants that may be living in my computer. Or the computer has a life of its own. Either way, I am surprisingly unfased.

Lets start in the beginning and see where we end up.
-Before the All Volunteer Conference (AVC) a fellow PCV visited me for the weekend. We had a wonderful time cooking, lounging and sharing. One of my favorite things about having my new house is that it is the perfect place to entertain guests!
-(If you are my mother don't read this bullet, just skip to the next one, it will only worry you, and there is no reason to worry because everything has a happy ending) Because of a mix-up about buses we ended up leaving at 5:30am on foot. The nearest bus stop is 27 km away and we were hoping to catch a ride because walking would take us hours. And it was hot, and we had a weeks worth of bags on our backs. Not very far our of town I ran into a friend who said that his friend had a car and could take us. The man with the car had a flat tire, but he called his friend and his friend was going to bring him a tire within the hour. We waited. The tire showed up, and it was a monster truck tire. The car was an Isuzu Pup, in other words, the tire didn't fit. So we left on foot. No one passed us for 3 hours. Then finally the Izusu Pup, complete with monster truck tire passed us. We rode with them for about 25 minutes until one of the tires blew. Guess which one? Yep, you guessed right, the monster truck tire. We set off on foot again, got another ride shortly thereafter and finally arrived in the nearest town at 11am.
-AVC went really well. There were 130 some volunteers and it was great to meet new people, listen to presentations about projects and just pass time with people who understand so much of my life.
-I stayed in town an extra day to celebrate a friends birthday and go bungee jumping. Bungee jumping was quite a rush, I literally felt like I was flying. The best part though, was hanging upside down in the middle of the Costa Rican wilderness, alone, silent, and with a perspective that I will probably never have again in my life. It was a great experience. We had chocolate cake and stayed in a classier hotel for my friends birthday, it was the epitome of Peace Corps luxurious!
-Back in site I have been working on a housing project, and it looks like there are potentially 24 families that are completing applications to recieve homes from the government, which if everything comes to fruition, would be spectacular. I am also organizing a environmental club, english classes, and a workshop on project management. This weekend the church is holding an event and I am supporting them in fundraising and day of events. I am also going to the water board meeting later this week. So it feels like work is getting underway, which is reassuring.
-Sugar is lost. I am not going to say much here, because I still have not admitted the reality of the situation. Because it makes me too sad.
-I finally figured out the veggie schedule and today I arrived just in time to pick up fresh veggies from the Monday shipment. Which means that I have tomatoes, carrots, cabbage, potatoes, onions, garlic, chiles, and cilantro. I will be eating well for the next few days. Too bad it won't last me the week (without a fridge things tend to go bad after a day or two).
For now I will leave it at that. I can't say that we have arrived at an end of sorts, but my pasta is done cooking and I want to eat it while its hot. Sending loves.

And then there were three

 Sugar sleeping under my feet right before we got a new kitty friend. He was so content. Now he is pissed. He keeps trying to bark at the kitty and scare her away. It doesn't help that she is tiny and may actually fit in his mouth (whole).

 This is my new kitten. I am working on names, right now a few ideas include: smudge, squirt, pinto, pepper and spice. A neighbor who helped me move into my new place told me that her cat recently had kittens and that she was going to throw them in a field because she has too many. I said that I would love a kitten and this morning her son showed up on my doorstep with this bundle of joy.

 So my flip flops are now a huge hit with all of my pets. Only unfortunate part, I love these flip flops and actually have to fight to be able to wear them sometimes.

 Sugar keeping watch. In his mind "Why the hell did you bring that thing home, Chelsea? Can I eat it?"

 They have each claimed a flip flop. There will be no sharing. Too bad that leaves 0 for me.

 Sorry can't rotate this. But it shows everybody sleeping with the flip flop while I do yoga.  :-)

What a happy family of three.

the importance of articles

I was reminded today of maybe the funniest thing that has happened to me in Costa Rica. It was not funny in the moment, but in retrospect, hilarious.

I attend the local government meetings every two weeks and it usually consists of me and 5 men. We sit outside in a circle of chairs. On this particular meeting we are inside gathered around a table and I am guiding them through an activity. I have to do this for PeaceCorps, but I do acknowledge that the activity has value as a diagnostic tool. I am not able to effectively explain this in Spanish (remember this is only like week 3 in site). So instead I just say "Siempre tengo razon."

I don't know how much Spanish you know, so I will explain. In my head I was informing the local government that I always have a reason (Siempre tengo UNA razon). It seemed like a valid thing to say. But what I actually said is "I am always right." Yep. ALWAYS. RIGHT.

That is why articles are important.

time passes differently when there aren't seasons.

Finally taped my pictures on the wall. Feels more like my house is mine. Its personalized and full of love and memories. And Sugar, without him I would just be talking to myself.

Yesterday I found a baby frog underneath my bed. I trapped him in a cup and took him outside. Then I found a cockroach twice the size of the baby frog hiding in my toiletries and I killed him with my flipflop. My murderous streak really has no rhyme or reason.

I have taken to spraying the ants with disinfectant because I ran out of Raid - its not nearly as effective. Did you know that ants here bite? I mean, I was well aware of that fact, but its one thing to have ants biting your feet when you are outside in their turf and another to have ants biting your hands when you reach in your purse. (They had discovered who knows what because there is no food in my purse)

Sugar yips and pretend chews food in his sleep. He also gets me out of bed at 6-7am. He puts his paws on my bed and whines until I get out of bed. At first I thought he just wanted to go outside and use the bathroom, but I have since discovered that he just is lonely and wants someone to play with. Well get ready pups, because once we have a kitten in the house I think you are going to miss your quiet alone time. Sugar was also refusing to eat rice and beans, which stunk because that is what he is getting for like 80% of his meals. I bought some dog food, buts its expensive and rice and beans are not. But I have since learned that his tastes are just finicky. Its not that he doesn't like rice and beans, he just doesn't like cold rice and beans. *Give me some blueberry pancakes bitch!* Only Mom and Dad will get that last reference, and honestly I have no idea what it is referencing, but I bet that Jordan was involved.

In other news, I have a wildly successful community meeting on Friday with 30 people in attendance. Be impressed. Did I mention I live in a town of 50? Okay, well that's misleading, cause some people were from neighboring towns, but still, you should be impressed, trust me. I am working with the woman's soccer team to help them hold more productive and respectful meetings, with the youth group to get organized and active in the community and with any other group who will invite me to their meetings. When the local government has meetings I am working with them too, but you know how that goes, well you probably don't, but its a long explanation. This week I am going to give three workshops on how to be organized when managing a project, lets hope for a good turnout.

I eat an insane amount of onion and garlic. They are the only readily available veggies in town. Sometimes I can buy cilantro, red bell peppers, tomatoes and potatoes. But I can always buy onions and garlic. And produce is CHEAP here, probably because they actually produce veggies. Favorite meal from the week was a tomato, onion, garlic omelet. It was wonderful, and I have black pepper, which I know sounds hum drum in the states, but its a rarity here, and its so wonderful.

Success of the day: doing all my weeks laundry in the morning and bringing it in completely dry 15 minutes before the downpour. Clutch. OOHHH and I just remembered I got a lunch invite for beef soup tomorrow, which sounds like free food and variety all wrapped in a beautiful package.

Loves. Wishes for another wonderful week.

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." Proust

Some of the thrills and wonders of living in my own home:
-When I find a tarantula in the shower it is my job to find a broom and either sweep it outside or kill it. Ok...well when I find a spider or bug I have that choice. When I find a tarantula I have to kill it, because have you seen how HUGE they are?
-Oficios! Sweeping, mopping, sanitizing, washing dishes, laundry, etc. I know that at some point in time I will disagree with the following statement, but in this moment I LOVE chores! They give needed structure and purpose to my days and downtime.
-There is no one watching me and judging how I spend my time. Even though I am living next door to the escuela, and the minute I open my blinds the kids are peaking their eyes in or knocking on my door. Its actually more endearing than annoying. This morning a little girl offered to help me mop the floor. Other endearing things about living next to the school, I am awoken in the morning by childrens' laughter. So much better than the damn roosters.
-Community members are inviting to their houses, teaching me cook and just stopping by to chat! On Saturday morning I was invited for sopa de gallina at a neighbors house, and on Sunday afternoon a community member stopped by in the afternoon to see how I am doing. I love have a space to invite people into and to be able to offer cafecito.
-The kids have been bringing me fruit, which is probably the way to my heart in Costa Rica. In the past 4 days I have received mandarins, oranges, mamones (lychees) and bananas. In return when they are playing soccer in my backyard I always keep the back door open and some plastic cups by the sink. So when they are thirsty they can come in and help themselves to water.
-I can cook for myself! This weekend my fellow volunteer and friend Biiftu came and spent the weekend with me, and we made so many wonderful foods- pancakes, french toast, spaghetti and cheese-less pizza. Also I am learning all about cooking arroz y frijoles and how to live and cook without a fridge.
-I am actively working on making friends with the bats. They are fruit bats and they do not bite, they also eat bugs, which is wonderful. So far I just talk to them when they are flying circles around the room. I think we will make great amigos as long as they never fly into me.
-When it rains my bathroom roof drips, which means that their is a small flood in the bathroom and the toilet gets soaked. I choose to find that entertaining. Kind of like when you move into a old house that is 'charming' which really just means that it has odd quirks that you can either interpret as malfunctions or as unique. I choose unique.
- I am composting, which is a beautiful thing. It makes me feel better about burning my trash, which I feel awful about. So far I am storing up recyclables in hopes that before I have an unmanageable amount of recyclables, my recycling program will have taken off.
-I am going to try to start a garden project for selfish purposes. Because I want more veggies. Of course I will share with the escuela, and can incorporate a garden into a workshop with the kids on nutrition and on the environment.
-Sugar lives inside of the house with me. And sometimes, when I am watching movies in bed at night, I put a special shirt on the bed and let him snuggle with me! Don't tell the Tico's, they will vote me off the island.  I also have a kitten on the way, once he is done breastfeeding he is going to come live with me and Sugar. What a family!

Off to make lunch and then write out some invitations for a community meeting to introduce my work plan :-)

Sending loves!

My New House

 This is the bedroom/office/yoga studio/closet/clothesline/best room ever. You can see my bed in the corner. My desk with computer on the left as well.

 This is the other half of what I will call the 'multipurpose' room. Same room as above. You can see my desk with computer on the right. My fan!!! And my dining room table and chairs (made out of old desks and chairs from the school. The blue sheet serves as my door.

 My kitchen. You can see my counter, rice cooker and electric burners. On the other side is my back door.

Different view of my kitchen, You can see the styrofoam cooler that the medical staff gave me. Through the half wall if the empty large room that I am using right now for a clothesline. May eventually be for English classes, but right now I like that its empty.

 New animal friends in my house. Fruit bats!

 My sink, for dishes, laundry, and bathroom needs (like washing hands and brushing teeth). Also shelves with my dishes and the two doors in the back ground lead to my toilet and my shower.

 My sink. You can see my backyard here, its the soccer field!

 My room full of sand. Doesn't your house have a sand room? I killed with that joke yesterday.

 My house from the front. The window on the far left is a bedroom window.

 My neighbors. The school is the yellow building and the pink building is the cafeteria.

 My new bike!

Sugar. So cute!

Things will get ... different

I think its time for a little bit of the truth. No more humor to avoid reality, no more avoidance to ignore pain.

Upon arriving back at site the problems with rats in my house had become much worse. I can confidently use the word ´infestation.´ Not only were the numbers multiplied, but the rats were now entering my room. I also learned that two walls in my room and my ceiling are hollow. This is why I can always hear the rats, when other people in the house cannot. I am not crazy (a more difficult realization than expected).

Rats were on the floor of my bedroom at night, squeaking and scratching at the feet of my bed. They were running in the walls, walls that my bed was pushed up against, running what at times felt like across my face. They were in the cupboards in the mornings, having spent their nights with the dishes I eat on and the food I eat. They were in the sink, where the dirty dishes from the day before sit. (This only became a notable problem when we did not have dish soap in the house for a week) They are screaming and fighting in the ceiling above my bed, and I can hear that they are trying to chew through the walls. I am not eating, I am not sleeping and I am spending most of my days in bed because I have very little energy and even less motivation. I am depressed. I am exhausted. I am beat.

I left after 3 weeks. It took leaving the situation to realize that I needed to leave. To realize that leaving wasn't a personal failure and that it didn't mean I wasn't tough enough.

I have received wonderful support from Peace Corps and when I return to site I will be moving into a new house and living alone. I am very grateful for the medical and administrative staff who have supported me through this process.

Valuable life lesson...? It is important to acknowledge when your limits have been exceeded. Sometimes its not just a matter of being a little bit tougher, sometimes its a matter of personal health and safety. And friends and family can help you with those distinctions, when you aren't able to make them yourself.

livin the life

Yesterday during a soccer game with the woman's team I broke my large toenail on my right foot. Now that happens to be the foot that didn't recently have surgery (but the foot on which I broke my ring toe a few months ago). Gracias a Dios. I usually wouldn't be one to complain about breaking a toenail, but let me explain how exactly this toenail is broken. About halfway down the toenail it is broken halfway to the middle horizontally. I don't know how to fix it or make it better. So I painted my toes today, because when I have no way to actually solve a problem, I guess I believe that making it look prettier helps.

Change and waiting: two things that I am generally not a fan of. Right now I am waiting for change, and that may just be the worst of all worlds (hyperbole-intended for effect). To add misery to misfortune I can’t do anything about the waiting, what I could have done I have done and the rest is in the hands of other people, other people who are not affected by the waiting or the lack of change. It’s just me, waiting (rather impatiently). Each day I’m getting increasingly more frustrated by the status quo. Also sounds like there is some self-pity happening there too.

 Third and final random topic of the day. Grocery stores. I have been having very longing dreams about grocery stores. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Madison Market, QFC, Fred Meyer and the like. I think its the variety that I am really dreaming about but either way my subconscious is hungry.

should have turned around and left before the sun came up again

Today a friend and respected fellow volunteer told me- “I don’t know how you are doing it. I couldn’t, I would have been long gone by now.” Hmm. I am not going to lie, there have definitely been days when I thought, ok, well, I am done with this now. Not in a dramatic fit of tears, or in the middle of the night when the rats are creeping closer to my bed. But just in the middle of a mundane task I catch myself thinking, solid effort but I think I will take that free plane ticket home now.

One of the things that I hated about life and work in the US was the feeling that I was trapped. Waking up Monday morning to a blaring alarm I couldn’t help but think, only 4 more days of dragging my ass out of bed until I can decide how to spend my time for 48 hours. Or looking at a calendar and counting the months until the next paid holiday. And I enjoyed my job, it was something that I was passionate about and felt served a necessary purpose. I enjoyed my co-workers and was not actively looking for work anywhere else. But still, I felt trapped. MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFriday, Weekend, repeat.

I love that in Peace Corps each day is different, or the same, but either way I get to make the choice. I am the master of my daily destiny, and its wonderful. I get out of bed at 6am some days to run before it gets to hot out, and other days I stay in bed until 9am. Some Sundays I sit in a rocking chair the entire day and read. I have started and finished multiple books all in the same day. If I need to go into town to run errands I can dedicate an entire day to errand running. If a friend is having a rough time then I go spend the night at her site. I get to play soccer every afternoon and pick fruit off the trees with the kiddos. I love the freedom.

What a stark contrast: US trapedness and Peace Corps freedom. Makes Peace Corps sounds like the obvious choice (for me at least). But then why is that ticket home so tempting sometimes. I’m not sure if I know why. It’s probably the other side of the freedom coin. Free to stay or free to go.  Free to choose, obligated to choose.

I think the important point is that I’m not thinking about leaving in the midst of emotional turmoil or overwhelming fear. I am thinking about leaving in moments of adjustment or uncomfortableness. When I pour myself a cup of coffee and just as I am bending over to take the first blessed sip, a drip of my sweat drops on in. Or when I get off the bus in the early evening just as it starts to downpour and not a single car passes me until I am 5 minutes from home. Or when I hungrily sit down to lunch and then realize that after my first bite of rice and beans, my appetite has begun yet another protest in search of variety.

 If you read this and finish thinking: “Well it sounds like Chelsea is really struggling and is ready to call it quits”—then you missed the point completely.

It is possible that there really are no boundaries.

Yesterday evening I was exhausted. Having walked 2 hours roundtrip to take the bus to town and running errands all day is enough to exhaust me on a good day.  On top of that I had only slept very few hours the night before and I decided to play soccer with the kids before the sun went down. I ended up falling asleep on my bed with my clothes on, net off and lights on at 7 o’clock. When I woke up a 9, I was a little confused, but mostly drowsy. I changed into pajamas, put my net up and went to use the bathroom before bed. Here is the problem with using the bathroom after the lights have been turned off; critters. Rats, bats and toads. You have to dodge the rats on the floor/walls while bobbing to avoid the bats that begin circling once you turn the lights on. Now I was under the (false) belief that I had concurred the toads. They were an obstacle that was behind me, I had concurred that fear. Wrong. Last night as I was half asleep and shooing a toad out of the kitchen with a broom I glance into the bathroom to see two other toads. Well shoot. I can easily shoe toads away in an open area, but a small-enclosed space is another story. I would have to enter through the door, and then try to find a way to position myself in a corner (without startling the toads) so that I could try to sweep them out the door, but the door opens into the bathroom and only opens about a third of the way. In the end I went back to bed and hoped that if I woke up desperately needing to use the bathroom then the toads would have relocated.

I live with rats. Okay no news there. But as previously stated they seem to be more frightened of me then I am of them.  My strategy: avoidance with a dash of denial. It was working wonderfully. Key word: was. So a few days ago I dropped a file of papers in a plastic bag on the floor behind my dresser. At the moment I was feeling lazy and decided to pick them up another day. Fast-forward a few days. I had heard some squeaking in the morning coming from my dresser, but I wasn’t too fazed because the rats usually like to hang out behind the wall that my dresser is pushed up against. Well after Sugar kept sniffing the dresser all afternoon I decided that I had to investigate-deciding that it would be better to know then to continue in unknowing. (Usually that is not my opinion, I usually like to put off certainly as long as possible, because without certainty there is still hope) So after putting on my rubber boots to protect me feet, getting the broom and cat, and doing a little freak out dance and inner squeal, I pulled the dresser away from the corner, lifted it up, and closed my eyes. Nothing happened. Upon further inspection there were no rats, but chewed up papers and lots of rat shit. Bummer. The delusion that I was safe and rat-less in my room was thus shattered. As you may have guess this is the reason for my sleep deprivation from earlier in the story, because when you know that rats are coming into your room it is much harder to sleep.

Now I have been to the store and I have bought sticky rat trapping paper. (Couldn’t find rat traps and rat poison seemed to dangerous- I don’t want to kill the cat or Sugar) So…now I have sticky paper that I can put on the floor that will trap the rats and then I just have to ‘dispose’ of them. So says the directions. I like the idea that I could catch the rats and teach them a lesson: It is not okay to fuck with the gringa. But then again I am going to catch LIVE rats. I think the only thing that may scare me more than having rats enter my room at will, is having to deal with a live rat stuck on a piece of paper. Rock and a hard place.

In less dramatic news, life continues at a glacially slow pace. I am working on being a member of the community by just being here. I am occupying space in public areas, playing lots of soccer and talking about a community meeting to present my work plan. I am getting lots of plans about when I am going to start up again with English classes. And although I could very easily start more classes tomorrow I am holding back. I think rushing into English classes would be a cop-out. I have some other projects I would like to work on, and although they will definitely be more difficult I need to force myself to take the more difficult road, or else I may end up teaching English classes for two years without ever delving into some of the deeper and more difficult needs. One day at a time.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend from the soccer team and we are going running in the morning. I’m excited to have workout partner, because historically that has been the one thing that gets me up and motivated about exercise. And maybe running will improve my soccer, because my soccer is in desperate need of improvement- I am just not that well-adjusted to being an inadequate athlete.  

Gigantic thanks to Mom, Ajla and Michelle. I received and opened all of your packages yesterday and it made for the best day ever!!! Endless gratitude.

Loves, patience, and courage,

Chelsea

Karma

Today walking home from the bus stop the older gentleman who carried my books last week had 5 gallons of gasoline. A younger gentleman carried the gasoline for him. Isn't that nice.

Suddenly I’m in over my head…

Ok, well maybe not so suddenly. But I am definitely in over my head.

I am working on finding my place again. Where do I belong during meetings? What are appropriate places to voice my opinions and plans? How do I interact with different members of the community, and in which ways do I show them respect? Who is Chelsea the Peace Corps Volunteer in rural Costa Rica? And how does she resemble Chelsea the Seattlite of my former life?

My experience to date has definitely brought into question much of what is my self-identity. I am constantly defining (for myself and my community) what it means to be an American, a foreign female, a Peace Corps Volunteer and last but not least a Chelsea.  What are the important parts of me that I want to keep, which parts were more societal then personal, what are my fundamental driving values (and why), how should I spend my time when I am in complete control of it, what are my outlets when I am stressed or when I want to have fun and how can I undergo this process while I am still living my daily life?

Things I have learned so far.

1.     Transition (still) makes me uneasy, but an awareness of that helps (it doesn’t lessen the anxiety, but it allows me to settle into the uneasiness)

2.     One on one friendships are very important to me- I need them to feel supported

3.     I (almost) always find clarity in problems when I write them down

4.     Positivity is invaluable as a personal perspective and as something I can offer to others

5.     I enjoy time spent (physically) traveling (ex: buses, walking, etc)– it is some of my most productive thinking time

6.     I value direct honest communication

7.     Physical activity makes me feel more alive

8.     I value teamwork and enjoy leading

9.     I need outlets for my creativity

10.  Reading good books is an integral part of my life

11.  I am a very visual learner and need lists to stay organized – organization is important to me

12.  I don’t know where I am going

13. It is important to me to remember where I have been, what I have accomplished, and the people who have been a part of my journey

That’s all I’ve got in this moment. Vamos a ver how this experience continues to affect/shape/mold/imprint itself upon me.

Ups and Downs and All Arounds

Arrived back in community. The bus schedule changed, again, which means that there are fewer buses now. The good news is that the return bus is earlier so I don’t have to walk home alone in the dark. The bad news is that an earlier departure is going to make traveling in the future and returning to site a little more difficult, but luckily I have a friend in my closest city that I can always crash with.

An older gentleman from the bus walked home with me in the downpour and helped carry on of my bags, which was very nice, since about halfway through the walk we passed his home. When I passed the school and some houses in town the kids waved out the window and screamed my name and a few kids ran into the street to give me hugs, which felt wonderful!

Then I got home. Gma told me she thought there was a rat in my room. I had been gone over a month and she thought she heard some scratching from inside. Good news is that there was no rat. Bad news, there was a lot of rat shit on my bed, really gross. After some cleaning and unpacking I settled back in.

I definitely am going to need some time to readjust to life at site, and I am taking things slow and giving myself time, but its pretty overwhelming knowing that I am here, alone and now its time to start projects. Yikes, good luck Chelsea.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose.You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

After what was a long medical journey, some intense Peace Corps mid service training, a trip to the beach and a weekend waiting for the bus it is almost time to head back to my site. After being gone for over a month (with little communication to those back in site) I am a little worried about the upcoming week. Will things go right back to the way they were? Will I have lost some of the trust that I had gained? Will they be surprised, happy, disappointed? Just a few bus rides away and I will have answers to all of my questions.

But aside from the anxiety of transition I am blissfull happy. It was nourishing to see friends and have fun in the old familiar ways (although I find soccer and fishing fun, it was nice to have a night life and be in a bookstore). The beach was breathtaking and probably little bit healing too. And we saw a sloth with a baby on his belly at the beach, which was surreal.

I´m ready to settle back into stability, I just think wonder how the settling in process will go...will report back soon.

Enjoy your three day weekend. Sending loves, sand and smiles,

Chelsea

life doesnt turn out the way you plan, not that lesson again!

So its been a while. And there are a few reasons why. I will try to keep this short and I will apologize now if it comes off as whiny or self-indulgent, Im working on it.
After getting back from the Romeria I had a pretty nasty ingrown toenail. I think it was my hippie toes way of declaring their hatred for shoes. Then the water went out in town for a few (4) days and I dont think bathing in well water helped the infection that had taken up residence on my toe. Lots of blood and pus, really gross. Decided to come into San Jose and have things checked out by medical, mainly because Mom and Dad have instilled a solid fear of infections in me from a young age. What I expected was going to be an overnight (by that I mean 1 night) trip has now transformed into...well into something completely unexpected.
I took antibiotics for a while, then had surgery to remove part of my toenail and part of my toe which was aggravating the toenail problem. Have some nasty looking stitches (8 to be exact) in my toe/toenail right now. I was told that I had to remain in bed for a minimum of 4 days after the surgery. So with 5 days of antibiotics, a weekend, a holiday (Costa Rican Mothers Day), two doctors appointments, surgery, and 4 days of rest I will be in San Jose until IST, which is two weeks of training in the last weeks of August.
Remember how I thought I was coming into town for one night, yea, you can guess how much variety my wardrobe has and how well its going to serve me through the month. Thanks to my peers coming into town for the training I will hopefully have enough outfits for training.
But after some readjusted expectations I have shifted to a positive focus on healing, reading, and laying in bed. The healing is going well, as is the cable watching and book reading.
Sending love to all those who I miss and who miss me. Especially Michelle, because I missed your birthday, hope it was amazing!
Chelsea

To dream and to wake

I think the strangest part of my experience so far would have to be my dreams. I can’t exactly tell whether they are nightmares or not, but multiple times a week I find myself returned from Costa Rica, back in the states, awaiting a flight to another country. I am full of anxiety and ambition, but more than anything I am scared. Then I wake up, and most of the time I am shocked to find myself lying in bed-in Costa Rica. Because in order to get here I overcame that exact type of fear I am dreaming about. How can something that I have already done be something I am scared of?

It has been wonderful to have time again to re-settle into my life at site. Since my birthday I have been traveling every few days, and it’s comforting to have time to put down more roots here. Time to play soccer, sit around and chat with community members, attend local government meetings, teach English, read, go fishing and settle back into my new favorite pace of life. I am learning that the US has a lot to learn about time and productivity. By shoving so much into a 12 hour day I think I missed so much of what made the days special, enjoyable and worth living. I’m not here to see how quickly I can make the days pass by. And there have been some amazing moments in my week. When was the last time you took notice of the moments in your life?

There are these wonderful fruits called Guayabas, that you eat like an apple, and have crunchy little seeds in the middle. I have been practicing my tree climbing to retrieve their juicy goodness. I am improving, but any 5 year old can still whoop me in tree climbing. That seems to be a theme in my life here, I may be improving, but any ol’ youngster still easily shows me up. A highlight of life on the fruit front, a neighbor came to the door today and brought me fruit! Not the family or my GMA, no, she brought ME green mangoes, which are an acquired taste, but I am intent on acquiring that taste. For those of your unfamiliar with rural Costa Rican life, bringing friends or neighbors fruit is the equivalent of waving to your neighbors in suburbia- easy to do and rude not to do.

My fan died. It was a very sad day, but I salvaged another old fan from the living room that I have never seen anyone use. I was told that it works for a while, and then it stops. I have been using it since Friday and it is still going strong. Here’s hoping. My other fan was dissected beyond recognition, in what I imagine was an attempt at fixing it. I sat by the wayside and created an auditory eulogy for the fan – Era un buen ventilador, hizo viento muy fresco y me ayudo mucho para dormir en las noches… No one seemed particularly amused, but I was thoroughly entertained.

There is now a chicken house in the backyard. I can’t be certain when it was built, or who built it, but it wasn’t there before and its there now. So there are considerably fewer chickens inside of the house. Besides this one devilish chicken, whom we refer to as Pelon (Hairy). He likes to shit in my room. I know its awful but when I clean up his shit I think about how one day I will eat him, and how that will be the last laugh. The other night three hens ended up hiding in the house at night and we had to catch them and put them outside (which I still argue is slightly useless with the holes in the walls, if the hens really wanted to sleep inside, let’s be honest, we can’t stop them). So 80 year old GMA (I have now officially verified her age, and its not 90, only 80) and me start trying to corner the chickens and grab them. Well wouldn’t you guess that 20 minutes later GMA has three chickens in one hand hanging by their feet and I am standing around looking useless.

Sunday the women’s soccer team had a feria, which roughly translates to soccer game with food. There were four futbol games and we prepared and sold food to raise money to pay for our travel to away games. Unfortunately only two of the three women’s teams we invited showed up, so we split our home team between the two away teams and played against each other. It was unbearably sunny, but the game was fun and my team won! Great day.

Mom sent me two new books for my birthday; The Art of Racing in the Rain and Born to Run. I read the first one during my travels and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Parts of it were set in Capitol Hill, Seattle and nothing could have made to happier than to read a well written fiction book referencing some of my favorite old haunts. I am currently in the middle of the second book, and I think it just be what I need to get my ass out of bed in the morning, to go for a few runs. I was running during training and I really loved it, but the heat here can kill the best-formed intentions. (I have a feeling that insufferable heat has something to do with the saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions)  Am always on the lookout for book suggestions and will post below the list of books I have finished so far on my Peace Corps journey. I really do love books, sometimes I am hard pressed to find something that makes me happier than a new book and a Sunday afternoon.

 Hectors Search for Happiness/The Impossible will Take a While/Cutting for Stone/The Known World/Remember Me?/12 Steps to a More Compassionate Life/Shopaholic and Sister/The Jungle Effect/The Three Pillars of Zen/Savannah Breeze/In the Time of the Butterflies/The Reader/Trauma Stewardship/The Kite Runner/100 Years of Solitude/The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao/The Art of Racing in the Rain/Born to Run

It just started raining, and I have been waiting for a good rain for weeks. Hope this one sticks.

Loves,

Chelsea

To another morning, another sunrise and another reason to get out of bed

The best part of having a dog in  rural Costa Rica is that he follows you everywhere. So you always have a friend. Downside, he hides your shoes.

New Photos at

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.629490723705.2119787.32404648&l=2f868fbf48&type=1

A lot has happened since we last spoke, so let me get you up to speed.
-Its Friday August 5th today-did you know we were in August. I will admit, I was shocked.
-I walked 25 KM in 10 hours from San Jose to Cartago with 16 people aging from 2 to 80 years old. And we all slept outside on plastic bags sharing blankets.
-I hike Rio Celeste again. It is still beautiful and am amazing thing to have practically in my backyard.
-VAC PCV meeting with 17 other PCV from my Zona. Met some new people, ate some wonderful food, laughed.
-Have to finish my diagnostic in the next two weeks. Good luck with that Chelsea.

Many more stories and wonderful things I should share. But I am tired of typing and thinking. Tal vez another day.

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Krema, Aunt Rhonda, Aunt Carol and Uncle Mike and Lindsey for the letters and birthday wishes.

Sending love.
Chelsea

Feliz Cumpleanos

This past weekend I visited another volunteer in her site in Guanacaste. A friend from my region went with me and we took 6 buses and traveled for 14 hours to get from our homes to hers. And then two days later we did it again.

Good news though, I appreciate bus travel (which is pretty lucky). It’s like living in Seattle and liking the rain. Being on a bus is the best kind of being out of control. I can’t make the bus get there any faster or slower and there is nothing productive to do. I have all the freedom to sit, to watch, to observe, to sleep or to fantasize. It is often uncomfortable- too hot, too squished, too sweaty, too close to my neighbor and my knees almost always jam themselves into the seatback in front of me. But all that considered I am generally happy to be traveling by bus. In the same way that Peace Corps is giving me the gift of time –time to think, to explore, to discover, to reflect, and to dream. Bus travel gives me the gift of time to very concretely think about where I was and where I am going- and the progress I am making on my journey.

In Guanacaste we spent the weekend at my friend’s house. We spent the first day in her town exploring, watching her baile tipico group, going to a fubtol game at the cancha, chilling on her front porch, making pizza in a clay oven, climbing to the top of her water town and watching the sunset. On day two we went into a larger city and celebrated the Annexation of Guanacaste and my birthday. There was a bull running event, dancing at night and wonderful street food. A spectacular birthday.

On the trip home I ended up with a bus fiasco of my very own. The only bus to my site leaves Guatuso at 4:30pm. But the earliest bus to Guatuso was scheduled to arrive at 4:40pm. Which is ten minutes too late, and means that I would have another 24 hours to wait for the next bus. And since the friend I usually stay with was out of town I had myself a dilemma. Then I discovered the benefit of living in a town that only has one bus a day. Yes, I said benefit. I am friends with the bus driver, so I gave him a call and asked if the bus (and all the people on the bus) could wait 10 minutes for the gringa. Turns out the bus driver wasn’t driving that day, but he said he would call his friend (who was driving the bus) and ask. He called me back a few minutes later with the glorious news that the bus (and all the people on the bus) would wait for me! Que dicha! It’s a pretty good feeling when you need a favor, know who to ask, and they are willing to do the favor for you. Another step on the road from outsider to community member.

Since I have limited thank you writing abilities this year I will write blog ‘shout outs’ in an attempt to express my birthday gratitude. Thanks to Mom and Dad for the card and presents – they are perfect and exactly what I wanted. Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa for the chocolate, bookmark and the birthday card, the chocolate is in the freezer, the bookmark is happily living in one of my new birthday books and the card made me smile and think of you.

Sending loves and gratitude for another year completed and a new one begun.

Chelsea

The Animals in my Life

Tonight I have so many zancudo bites on my body that I am quite certain (that if possible) I am in grave danger of dying of itching. It feels as though every cell in my body is screaming “SCRATCH ME!” and the cruelest part of the story, is that I put on DEET bug repellent (which I am sure is irreversibly harming my insides) before I left the house. And that I used up my entire (tiny ass) tube of hydrocortisone 20 minutes ago. All I have left are these stupid little individual packs of cream which are so hard to open that I get frustrated, give up and just scratch my stupid bites.

And now for a brief aside: Just now, as I sat peacefully on my bed typing this and cursing my hands for their uncontrollable scratching, a large hairy spider crawled dangerously close to me on my bed. Startled alert I hopped, only to witness the spider jumping too. Well shit, the cockroaches fly and the spiders can jump, this just ain’t fair. Especially since he is ON MY BED! My net can’t protect me from things inside; it only further serves to trap them with mas proximity to my ever vulnerable skin. Don’t worry about me though. Because I am alive now, typing this blog post, and that poor spider met his match when he encountered the bottom on my muddy flip-flop. And if you remember correctly said spider was on my bed, which means there is now muddy flip flop on my bed. Bummer, but mud doesn’t bite, and mud doesn’t itch, and mud doesn’t scar. So tonight I can honestly say: I’m glad to sleep with a little mud on my sheets.

Ajla: Perhaps the saying shouldn’t be “Don’t let the bed bugs bite” but instead “Kill all the bugs in your bed, before you go to sleep.” Just saying, if we are being practical and such.

Back to the theme previously established, the damn mosquitoes. Really not much else to say, expect that they are supremely bothersome and I loathe them with every cell of my itching being.

For a more lighthearted topic I will share with you the comings and goings of my furried (pretty sure furry is the correct term, but I like furried) friends Salt and Sugar. I have definitely learned a few things about cats in Costa Rica. First- they are much cleaner than dogs, they are more productive at chasing chickens and eating bugs but they are much more disliked by the Ticos. Keeping this in mind, you will understand how odd it is that I hold, pet and allow Salt in my room. But, to their dismay I love these two baby animals. And they probably understand me better than most Ticos, because they react the same where I speak English or Spanish.

They are both only children and have combined in their lack of siblingness to form a bond that is slightly unnatural but nevertheless endearing. They wrestle, share food and generally cohort juntos. Today after their baths Sugar was trying to lick Salt clean. Pretty darn cute. And Sugar follows me everywhere (unfortunately Salt doesn’t leave the house, probably for the best, because I think he would get eaten), which I love and the locals are getting used to. Last week when I visited houses Sugar attempted to enter each house conmigo. This is highly unacceptable as Costa Rican dogs live outside, are dirty and used mostly as security alarm systems. But in my charming gringa fashion (with the assistance of the neighborhood kids who adore Sugar) I think that I am helping ease everyone into accepting Sugar’s presence, indoors and out. Plus I bathe him, so he doesn’t smell or have fleas.

Another aside: There are June bugs dropping from Lord knows where (an invisible whole in my ceiling) onto my computer and scaring me half to death. They are large, rather stocky bugs with hard shells that make a very loud, sometimes shocking, KLAT when falling. Come on Costa Rica, enough bugs for one night already. I’ve got two years here, save your scare tactics for another day.

The next two weeks are pretty travel filled, so the posts will be sparse for un ratito. Perdonme. And wish me luck as I maneuver a few new bus routes. Here’s hoping.

Muchisimas Gracias to those who have sent mail, photos, and chocolate. You make me smile more than you know! Y Mamma y Pops hope you had fun on your trip.

Loves of the enduring kind,

Chelsea

PS. Two (newly discovered) downsides of hot, wet weather. Gum melts and envelopes seal themselves.

Flooding

This has been a great week in my life as a PCV. I finally feel like a community member. From our Western Perspective I have ‘accomplished’ very little since I have arrived, but I am realizing that I have created relationships and become a miembro de la comunidad – and that is significant and meaningful. For me, the work I have completed so far is worth more than a years worth of 9am-5pm weekdays of paperwork and conventional ‘productivity’.

Its difficult to explain, but I’ll try. Structure and schedule are familiar. They provide comfort and help me feel in control and useful. During my first weeks I physically craved the familiarity of to-do lists. It was a slow process to accept my new pace and style of life. Cada dia that I woke up and felt like I had no reason to get out of bed (because my planner was empty for that day), but that I still got up and ate breakfast and chatted with my host family and played futbol with the kids – that was productivity. Por lo menos I spoke Spanish all day, and I get practice points for that!

Now when I leave the house I know the names of everyone I run into on the way. And people know my name. They are interested in what I am doing. I am getting invited to meetings (without having to beg). This is all earth-shatteringly important. I am learning how to change my perspective to see the value in relationship building. I will not be able to create cambios sostenibles in my community unless I really know who lives here, what their lives are like, what are their values, how do they make decisions, what are their priorities and in what ways are they open to change. There is value to spending days visiting houses just to see the spaces in which people live their lives. There is value in playing futbol with the jovenes during a downpour, while everyone slips, slides and laughs. There is value in my existence here.

How did I come upon this…

Wednesday: Went with my female cousins to visit houses in their community (one of my satellite communities). The mud road to through their community is 6km from the center of my town to the center of their town. There are houses all along the road. It was down pouring all day long. I went barefoot because my sandals kept getting suction/stuck in the mud. We laughed for a good majority of the day and I think they said “Cuidado Chelsea” three million times, and believe it or not I never fell. That night we watched one of my American movies with subtitles in my bedroom.

Thursday: Visited houses in my town with a female high school student from my English class. I like that when I ask my students favors they rarely say no. By the end of the afternoon we had a possy of 6 kids following us to each of the houses. It was wonderful! After English I played soccer with the kids in my community in the rain slipping and sliding in huge mud puddles. I did fall, slipped and landed flat on my back, and it was hilarious! That night I had dinner at a community member’s house and she helped me edit my diagnostic of the community (which I have to write in English). I stayed over their talking with her and her husband until 9 o’clock and it was really enjoyable.

Friday: Walked to the bus stop at 4:30 to catch the bus to my nearest biggest city.  One of the dogs in my family followed me the whole way there. When I got to the bus stop I knew everyone’s name at the bus stop and we all chatted casually until the bus arrived (small potatoes in the states, hugely valuable when you are integrating into a new community and speaking a foreign language). Then I spent the day hanging with Biiftu and running errands. Ended up crashing at her place because I couldn’t get a ride from the bus stop and we made spaghetti for her family along with a wonderful banana dessert invention.
Saturday: Stumbled upon my counterpart in town and he offered to give me a ride home. Gladly took the ride and it turned out that the road is pretty intensely flooded. At one point in time a man was walking on the side of the road and his legs were fully immersed! At other points I could look out the windows in all directions and only see water. If you have never seen flooding it is a breath taking site. Got home safe and sound. Then that afternoon I went to a quincinera of a community member. There was food, dancing and ceremony. It was lots of fun and I had people to chat with (mostly children, but a few of the girls from the women’s soccer team).
Sunday: Walked 6km in the morning to a neighboring community that was having a feria. Spent the morning helping out in the kitchen and then in the cantina for the afternoon. I also played soccer with the womens team, but unfortunately we lost in penalties. The event was to raise money for food for the elementary school, which hasn’t been able to provide lunch for the kids in a while. There were lots of people there and everyone thought it was a huge success, expect for the rain in the afternoon. Ended up walking home in the dark with a group of 20 people (all the people who attended the feria from my town). Cars can’t drive on that road after a good rain because its too muddy and they get stuck. I had my recently purchased rubber boots, which making walking in mud much easier (even though I have a huge blister now). But the downside (besides that I had already been on my feet all day) was that it was dark and all the kids kept trying to scare me with stories of tigers and other animals that eat people. All in all, quite an adventure.

            That’s all for now, because now I have to get back to work. There are diagnostics to get done, soccer to play and English class to teach.

Love you all lots,

Chelsea

P.S. T minus ONE WEEK to my BDay J